Title:  The Heero Perspective
Author:  Zanthra    shinigamis_yume02@yahoo.com
Warnings:  Heero’s POV(in multiple persons), angst, spoilers, fluff, sap
Notes: The idea for these sketches came to me in the middle of the night, and since then 
they have bothered me throughout the daytime as well.  It’s probably because I’m helping 
with the re-write of the series, that Rzenik is heading off, and my character is Heero…

Also, the stories go in timeline order, or at least they would if they were all in the series…. 


The Heero Perspective:  Sketch of the Hospital scene

Fearless, not careless.  I know what I’m doing, have calculated the risks, and won’t let 
them use me to reek havoc and destruction on millions of innocents.  To follow my 
feelings…  I feel I must die to protect those around me; maybe the world even, but not 
likely.  And him, his chestnut braid flying behind him like a flag against the ocean wind, he 
soars towards the cliffs below.  He releases his scythe- guess he has something to live for.  
I sure don’t…  I let myself plummet to the earth.  Fearless, not careless.




The Heero Perspective: Midnight Terrors

The sound of continuous ammunition rounds being fired off rang in his ears.  His whole 
body shook with the vibrations of the high caliber machine gun and, though it wasn’t too 
much for him, his task was beginning to be.  Blood spattered the walls like thin, red paint, 
the droplets left trails in their race with the artificial gravity.  And as the bodies piled- 
some alive and more not- the stench grew, causing him to gag.  He closed his eyes…

And awoke with a gasp.  Duo sat next to him on the bed, a worried expression marring his 
normally smiling features.  His eyes were lit with shadows of dark and light, and Heero 
got the feeling the boy knew it wasn’t the present that scared him, but the past.

The small smile that appeared briefly on Duo’s face was reassuring, and Heero gave into 
his weakness, allowing himself to be drawn into the strong arms.




The Heero Perspective: A Sketch of Earth

Earth.  It’s a lot…greener…than I expected. You can see the sun and the light isn’t 
filtered.  And the moon and stars…  They shine down with real illumination, instead of 
being projected holograms onto the dome lids of the colonies.

It’s cloudy today, though I don’t mind; I’m not supposed to anymore, what with Dr. J’s 
‘desensitization training’.  I do feel though- I was just never taught to show it.  And I see 
the changes around me, whether in the sky or the people- I do see them.  And once again I 
was never taught to show it of how to deal with it.

All I know is to follow my feelings- something I’m still trying to succeed at.

Somedays it looks bleak…




The Heero Perspective: Night Episode at School   

The nightmares have come again.  I can see him lying there, on the bed across the room, 
tossing and turning; trying to get away.  He calls out every once in a while- a whimper, a 
moan, or maybe a scream.  It hurts to see him like this, though I’m not sure why.  We’ve 
been roommates before at various schools, but…  I don’t know.  Something feels 
_different_ now, and it’s unsettling to say the least.




The Heero Perspective: The Laptop Disturbance

“Could you _please_ stop it!”  Heero Yuy was not amused.  His partner, as the doctors 
were calling it, would not leave him alone- would not shut up.  It should’ve been enough 
that he wasn’t going to get any work done, but no.  The boy had to lean over his shoulder 
or hang on him.  That chestnut braid would never cease to fall in his lap; it didn’t matter 
how much it was pulled on or brushed away.

Blue-violet eyes appeared in front of his face and that braid fell into his lap once more.  
“What’s the matter?  You don’t love me anymore do you…” A pout appeared on the face, 
yet Heero could still see the smile in the boy’s eyes.  He glared.

And the boy laughed.




The Heero Perspective: The mentality to set your OWN broken bones

He gritted his teeth and just did it.  Pull, move, set- the only things to go through his mind.  
It little things that made up the nothingness were of little consequence at that moment.  
The determination, confidence, and insanity meshed together to block the pain…until it 
was done.  Then it hit him full force, and a white light flashed behind his eyes.  There was 
disorientation and then darkness, accompanied by an echo to the pain; just a dull throb 
compared to before.

There was no blood this time- just bruising.  He ripped the ruined dress shirt he’d been 
wearing into strips of white cotton clothe and bound his arm.  He used his teeth to pull it 
tight, tied it, and lay back on the bed, wishing is could all just end.

Wishing there was someone to share the room with.




The Heero Perspective: Cell Block Blues

I’m not exactly sure what brought it on.  It was just Wufei and I in the cell that moment; 
Duo had been dragged out not two minutes earlier. For “questioning” they’d said.  Yeah, 
whatever.  They wouldn’t be able to justify it to the Devil himself, if it came down to it.  
But that’s just how it goes being a wanted terrorist sometimes. Yet we prefer to call 
ourselves freedom fighters…

It was dark in the cell.  I could hear his breathing- a barely audible wheeze from what was 
likely a bruised rib…or two.  And then he was right in front of me- close enough I could 
see the slight shine of his eyes in the dim light sneaking, in patches, under the door.  
“Heero…  Do you believe in soul mates?”

Soul mates?  What does that have to do with anything…?  I frowned, confused and 
slightly uncomfortable with his proximity to me in conjunction with his question.  Do I?  
I’d never really thought of it before…  He sat back, much to my relief.   If it’d shown on 
my features I could tell he hadn’t noticed.  “I…well, I found mine once…” 

He was staring off into the darkness, seeing something that I knew I could not.  “She died 
defending my people, my clan.  She was the warrior, not me- I was just a scholar, really.  
Not that I couldn’t fight, it was just below my intellect…  Or so I thought.”  He sighed, 
shaking his head sadly.  Why was he telling me this?  It obviously hurt him to speak these 
things aloud…  And yet I remained silent, ensnared perhaps, by the story of my comrade’s 
past.

“  Our marriage was pre-arranged.  We’d never met before we were fourteen, and in all 
outward appearances we hated each other to an extreme.  Really we were just 
misunderstood.  It took her death to see what I’d had and what I’d so suddenly lost…  So 
I took up her cause- the fight in defense of justice. 

“I… we were soul mates.  We always will be- in this life, our next, and the afterlife even.  
We’ll find each other and be together, even if it takes another four lifetimes of misguided 
searching.  Wandering…  

“There’s someone like that for everyone you know- it’s too highly chronicled for there not 
to be.  You just have to believe…  Follow your feelings, like you’ve been told and have 
told us.”  He broke off, his throat sounding constricted to even my ears. “Yours…  Heero, 
yours is right in front of you.  I see it with every breath they take, with every interaction 
between you.  And it hurts.  It hurts terribly to watch this and think that you could loose 
each other before you even realize…  So now it’s my turn Heero; my turn to tell you to 
follow your feelings and do what your heart tells you.  In this lifetime you will only get 
one chance, but once you’ve found what you’ve got, it’ll be eternity……and then some.”

And with that he went silent again.  The rasp was still there, low and disguised by the 
whoosh of air coming out of the vent in the ceiling.  His story confused me- I think it’s 
just the unknown thoughts swirling in my head.  I have no idea who this person is he’s 
mentioned, but I think I’ll keep my eyes opened.  Just in case…




The Heero Perspective: I just wanted to say goodbye
 
Floating, weightless in a relative way, at the bottom of the ocean; surrounded by a 
decaying husk of metal.  It serves me right that it should end like this- I was always so 
eager to end it back then…  But not now.  I have…him…to live for, whether or not he 
realizes if yet.

Duo, my Duo.

And _she_ seems to think that it’s her I keep fighting for.  Maybe it used to be, when it 
was all about the mission…  I shudder to think the word now, yet crave the adrenaline 
rush like the air I breathe; the air I’m slowly running out of.  

I won’t be able to escape this one Koibito…  Not if the generators don’t start working 
soon.  It sad to think I’ll loose you this way- without seeing your face, or telling you how 
I truly feel.

The asphyxiation is setting in…  And yet there is always hope.

I can still feel the vibrations of the generators.